I Pad inserted on Fore-arm!!!!

I want an I Pad or I phone inserted on my arm.  I think it would be high fashion. And I  would not miss any important phone calls. If it was inserted on my left fore arm then I would never leave home with out it. However, there would have to be a sleeping mode so that I am not woken up at 2:00 am unless there's an emergency.

  I wonder if any cosmetic surgeons would be willing to do this?  If there are any surgeons out there that would do this let me know; I think it would be cooler than a tattoo.

I wonder how I would update the hardware/software? Maybe I could go to the surgeon's office biannually and have new updates inserted. Hmmmm... I know this is weird but I am tired of not being able to hear my phone when it rings.  And I am always forgetting where I placed it.   

I am not the only one that is going crazy by the New Technology: 

Marla Benavides WARNING! Facebook now automatically scans your BRAIN through your monitor. ToBLOCK, go to your kitchen cabinet and remove the box of aluminum foil. Wrap foil around your head, stay calm & breathe thru your left nostril. This is a serious problem & has been confirmed by my neighbor Wade's cousin's wife's neighbor's son's baby's mama and her pet chihuahua. Copy and paste as your status & SAVE YOUR FRIENDS-HURRY!

Marla, I want to see pictures ASAP!